Tag Archives: Britain

Babbo, bambina

She could still remember how frightened she had been. She had been thirteen years old, her first time in Milan, a late birthday present from her parents. The stadium tour at the San Siro seemed to be more of a present for Papa but, later, he had followed them first round the shops and then the Duomo without complaint so they had all visited their own cathedrals. The trouble had started as they spilled out into the piazza.

There was a crowd of protesters gathering in the square, maybe three hundred or so people, dressed in a dazzling rainbow array of colours. Hoisted placards for Sinistra Italiana and Giustizia e Liberta jostled for attention and various chants and songs broke out, stalled, and eventually settled on a repeated call for freedom. Liberta, liberta, liberta. Leah’s parents exchanged a glance and her father pointed over to the other side of the square where a similarly sized group was beginning to form. Similar in size but immediately different in tone; scarves pulled up over the bottom of faces, balaclavas, flags, a few signs proclaiming for Lega Nord, some other banners Leah didn’t fully understand. Someone lit a flare, it fizzed into a red, steaming light, and launched it into the middle of the square.

Her parents pulled her across the square as quickly as they could as the groups converged. For years her father berated himself for not thinking, they should have just turned and gone back into the cathedral, waited it out. More flares were thrown and then, unseen by Leah until now, groups of Carabinieri armed with riot shields and batons charged the freedom group. They didn’t bother to disguise their allegiance and the square descended into panic as the ragtag representatives of the left were either beaten or chased away by the police and a mob. Her father wore a small lapel button in support of Sinistra Italiana. It was something he’d taken to wearing since they’d returned from Britain, his small gesture of defiance against what he saw as his country sliding, lurching to the right in the confusion after the outbreaks. As the Carabinieri passed them one lifted a baton as if to strike him. Papa! Babbo! She had shouted and tried to put herself in the way. Another policeman stopped, gestured at the Inter shirt he was still wearing under his jacket, and they exchanged a few words before opting to leave him alone. She heard them repeating ‘Babbo’ and laughing.

Her father had left Britain, taken them all back ‘home’, after the Brexit vote. Leah had never noticed anything really change but she didn’t have an accent, nothing changed in the playground, nobody told her it wasn’t her country. When Italy left the EU in ’23 her father seemed to retreat in to himself, as if he wanted to turn his back on all of it, bunker them down in their little corner of Lake Como and pretend that none of it affected them. And mostly it didn’t, not really, day to day. The lockdown protocols became stricter, the border controls tightened, they got used to curfews, sometimes understandable, sometimes seemingly arbitrary, and they got used to wearing a health tracking bracelet. But virtually the whole world got used to that. Italy wasn’t so special.

For her it had all seemed the other way round. She’d grown up in the Italy that he grew to despise but without any of the memories of how it’d been before. It was hard not to love the mountains around the great lake but all of the rose-tinted nostalgia she had was for her earlier childhood in Britain and she knew that was partly why she’d wanted to come back. It had broken his heart but it was breaking hers to stay.

The experience with Aps and the police station had shaken her more than she was prepared to admit to the others. Too many memories. She read the news, heard the stories, so she wasn’t sure why she’d been so shocked. Everyone knew you couldn’t be out without your Medlet, everyone knew the gist, if not the detail, of the Viral Health Act and the extensions to the Criminal Justice Bill. For her generation it had been like one of those sets of terms and conditions you get when you download an app, something you trusted was okay and clicked ‘accept’. For the greater good. Even when the health services were built back up after the neglect in the early ’00s and contact tracing was sorted out they never seemed to row back the changes in the legislation. She’d just gotten used to it like they all had as they cycled through the repeated outbreaks of the last nine years.

Leah picked up her phone and placed a video call home. Her mum picked up and they talked quietly, just like they usually did. She knew that Papa would appear briefly at some point, wave and then pretend that he had something that he was in the middle of. She’d never called him Babbo since that day in the square, it had felt like that day was her line between childhood and adolescence. It felt baby-ish. Bambina. She’d told him to stop calling her that.

He appeared over her mother’s shoulder, bent down and waved into the camera, almost immediately turning to move away.

“Babbo,” she called, almost without thinking. He stopped, half turned, and looked back at the screen. Leah was crying, the phone shaking slightly in her hand. Softly, over and over, she said ‘babbo’.

He put his hand on her mother’s shoulder, something in his grip must have signalled to her to move as she relinquished the chair so that he could sit and face into the computer screen they had set up on the kitchen table. The one where Leah had sat poring over her homework.

“Bambino,” he said. “Sono qui. I am here. I am here.”

Waiting for exits

Ten pm. Polls will shut and we’ll get our first indications from the exit surveys. All we can do now is wait for the exits.

He was lying on a trolley in a corridor. He thought he’d heard someone, white coat, furrowed brow, say that he was stable. That this would do for now. Would have to do for now. Each time the door at the end of the corridor swung open he could see rows of beds and curtained off partitions and people reading notes. We’ll get him in when there’s space. He thought someone had said that too. The needle had made him drowsy. When someone leaves we’ll get him in. Wait for an exit.

She was reading a letter. It said she had to leave. She didn’t really understand how this could be the case. Why she should leave her home for the last twenty years. They’d talked about rubber stamping their stay, back in the early days. Talked about applying for passports and settling things. Not just for them but for the kids. Back then it had cost too much, struggling to set up with jobs in a new country, and then, over time, it just hadn’t seemed necessary. They didn’t need a piece of paper to tell them that this was home. Did they ? The letter in her hands gave a date. Wait for an exit.

It had been good when he’d first started. The energy he’d had in front of the class had been infectious. He’d fired them up with a passion for Blake and Austen and Orwell, got them through the stodgy bits of the curriculum, and they’d returned his fire with fire of their own. He’d watched them grow and challenge and learn to think. He couldn’t put his finger on when it changed. It just seemed like something got lost in the slow grind of exams and marking and assessment and interference and cuts and buying books for the class to cover the shortfalls. The curriculum got stuck in the 1900s and the kids glazed over. They didn’t return fire and his own burned down. Another term and he was done. More money abroad teaching the language he loved to people that didn’t speak it as natives. Wait for an exit.

On the ward everyone was kind. She thought they all seemed so busy, all of the time, but kind. She didn’t really know why she was still here but didn’t complain. For a few weeks she’d had a lovely lady in the bed next to her and they’d gotten on famously. She’d gone now. They didn’t say what happened and she didn’t remember everything quite so clearly these days. She knew she should be somewhere else. Not her own home anymore, heavens no. That would not do. They’d told her about a lovely place that would be suitable but there was just no space and so she’d have to wait here for now. Sometimes she worried about the people that seemed really sick but they told her not to bother herself. Soon. We’ll get you settled soon. Wait for an exit.

It was exciting. Start up again in another city, another country. There’d been a lot of disappointment when the notification about the relocation had been confirmed but quite a few were going to make the move. Maybe London was getting too busy anyway. Financial centres move, money’s all electronic these days, it doesn’t need to be governed by geography. Might just as well work out of Hamburg. Aufregend. Warten Sie auf eine Ausfahrt.

It was devastating. What are we supposed to do ? Start up again in another city, another country ? When they’d said the plant was moving to France nobody had seen it coming. There had been promises. Even after the referendum. Deals were done. It was all secured. All the town had was the plant and the call centre. Someone from the call centre had dropped a leaflet through the door already. Flexible hours that suit you. Zero commitment. Give us a call. He’d dialled the number and a disembodied, artificial voice had asked him to select from the following options. Press six if you’re interested in careers with us. He’d hung up. Wait for the redundancy from the plant. Wait for an exit.

It was a week before they found her. One of the neighbours had gotten worried. It wasn’t unusual to go a couple of days without seeing her but a week was unusual; everyone knew that if her condition flared up she’d be in bed for a bit. They found her next to a letter from the DWP setting out the results of her disability assessment and a bottle of pills. The letter started I regret to inform you. The bottle was empty. An exit.

Ten pm. Polls will shut. Wait for the exits.